26 May 09

I have been thinking about the months of struggling in the business of being a photographer, teacher and artist. And I have come to realize and know who the real supporters are, although we may not have been in contact for quite some time. The people that truly have a passion for the arts remain as so, unswerving by their position in that art shall survive, and it will continue to flourish, no matter how hard or difficult it may be. My friends attest to that. In the back of my mind, I feel that I have been a bit of a cop out, that I have devalued my position as an artist, and have shifted to a more commercial realm by opening up a studio, where I shoot commercial jobs (ie: family portraits, fashion, etc.) and also teach. I am interested in publishing, and that seems like a commercial enterprise that I shouldn't be even touching, but then, I have and will be doing in the next little while. I ebb in and out of the waters from one thing to the next, with no real focus. Why can't I settle my mind? What has 2009 done to me and everyone else? Nevertheless, this year of making new and renewing old acquaintances is paramount. In this time of economic blues, I'm discovering new energies and ideas with people around me. I'm eager and excited, but nervous about what all this holds. I've been taken for a ride before and I don't recommend it. To anyone.